The last thing

If I sleep, never to wake up

Please be the last dream I see

If I fall never to rise again

Be my last step in the journey

.

If I lose my voice and never talk

Be my very last love song

If I lose my hearing forever

Let your voice be the last I hear, deep and strong

.

If my light goes out and gloom prevails

Let your eyes be the last where I shine

If the world comes to an end in front of my eyes

Let you be what I possess, let me call you mine!

.

– Pritesh

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6 Comments

  1. Neha said,

    February 25, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    Pritz….. no words for this one….how do u manage this ?? 🙂

  2. Kshitiz said,

    February 26, 2008 at 12:09 am

    Nice poem.
    Thoughtful.

  3. Tata said,

    February 26, 2008 at 7:26 am

    Pritesh!

    Would I be the last one? If so, I am VERY PROUD!!

  4. KRSP said,

    February 28, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    The concept is good. But at places your haste has overpowered your creativity. I think you should take more time and rewrite this poem. It is simply amazing piece of your thought. A few lines have the real charm that can be given only by a very very few poets. If you can rise the rest of the lines to that level, then you are second to none Pritesh.

    Great work…

  5. charles said,

    February 28, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    In a piece of folk art, sometimes that one resolute stroke is just what blows your hair back. For that reason alone, I appreciate her sensitivity. It may be a delicate voice at times but it beckons the reader when necessary.

  6. Pritesh said,

    February 29, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Hey Neha, thanks. I suppose if one listens to oneself, everyone is a poet! 🙂

    Thanks Kshitij…..

    Tata, you’ve lots of years more to live! So, don’t worry too much about being the last thing, for now! 🙂

    Thanks Sathya, but it’s probably not the rush, just how the feelings have been penned, as it is……

    Thanks Charles. I suppose I could use a wider range of words……..:-)

    Thanks everyone for dropping by and writing your feedback! 🙂


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