My life here……..

(A note: Anyone who reports the contents of this blog-post to my parents may face a life-long abandonment from my friends’ circle)……..

Well, this blog is just a collection of some of my ‘achievements’ after coming here to Germany! I’ve achieved such greatness after coming here that I am forced to write this blog eventually. πŸ˜€

1. Day 5 of my arrival here. I reach the superstore named Plus (I’d been there once before with a colleague, so I thought I knew the place well and decided to explore it a little further ON MY OWN). I found one packet of biscuit, that just fits my budget, looks good. I reach the queue for billing and Heaven bless, turn the packet around. I see a nice dog drawn on that. And before I make an absolute fool of myself (by taking these biscuits home, eating them and finding out that they don’t taste ‘normal’), I realize that I have picked up a dog biscuit packet! I repent, hit myself on the head, replace the biscuits to where I took them from, buy another packet and walk off silently…………

2. I enter McPaper, my one stop shop for stationary, with the intention of buying a set of colour pencils. I look around and finding that I have only 5 Euros in my pocket, opt for the simplest colour set. 6 basic colour pencil colours (that cost me 2.99 Euros). I come happy to my apartment and announce to my Professor friend who stays across the apartment that I bought colours for so cheap. He looks at it (with the intention of buying some for his children as well and looks at me, ZAPPED. He tells me that it’s a box of plasticine for children!! Phew, 3 Euros for nothing! My intention of making Calvin and Hobbes using those colours is still lying somewhere on the holly bush outside my window! I flash a stupid grin to him and come back to my apartment, hide in the blanket and curse myself!

3. I decide to get Indian. So, I decide to ‘convert’ German things to Indian stuff as well. I buy some schnitzel ready to eat stuf. Put it in fridge. The next day, I take it out and decide to make some pakodas out of it. I add it to hot oil in kadahi (without realizing that fridge gives moisture free with low temperature). Oil decides to commit suicide. It jumps out of the kadahi and lands up on my left wrist. I am still nursing the burn.

4. I go to Wuppertal (about 35 kms south of here). And very confidently, I read the time-table. It says: Last bus back to Bochum at 14:36 hours. Happy with my immaculate planning, I spend a couple of hours roaming around, taking the suspension bridge etc. Content when I return to bus stop at the stipulated time, no sign of even the tyres! Reason, I forgot to read the 1 of 14:36 hours and added a pm to it! The bus was at 2:36 PM and I’m looking for it at 16:36 hours! I curse my illiteracy and catch a train back to Bochum (paying 8 Euros for my journey back).

5. My labmate is talking to me and telling me about something. There are wires all over the place (ALD is a fairly complicated machine). No one ever trips over these wires and Germans are known to be perfectionists (but alas, they didn’t anticipate my arrival, I suppose). They lay down wires perfectly in place. My labmate turns the other way, still talking to me. ANd when he turns back, I’m not visible. He looks down, and there I am, sprawled on the floor! He rattles into a thousand sorries, blaming himself for not warning me (despite the fact that no one ever trips over these wires). He calls the technician (who appears in the Lab in exact 2 mins and 40 seconds). He gives me a bewildered look (he has never heard of anyone trip over those wires). And after about 5 hours of work, he bring every single wire (with the help of support) from above the head level to the other side. He thanks ME for showing a possibility he overlooked. I give him a stupid smile and curse my own clumsiness!

6. I take the elevator to go from -4 (4 stories below Ground Floor) to go to my floor (second from the ground). The elevator stops, one girl gets in and I walk out, to walk straight into a wall. I got off on the wrong floor (darn! I didn’t see the elevator display). I rub my nose and curse my legendary observation powers! I take the stairs to go to my floor….

7. I come back from Lab. get into my apartment complex. Take the elevator. By mistake, I press both 1st and 2nd floor button. After some time, the 1st floor button stops glowing and elevator stops. I laugh at the stupid elevator. What a waste. The light should go off after the elevator has reached the designated floor and second floor light was still glowing. I get off. Reach my apartment and try to unlock the door. It doesn’t open. I try harder. But it refuses to budge. After a full five mins of trying (including racking my brains for a possibility of an exchange of key with someone), exasperated and tired, I look out of the window. And Lo! Either the apartment building had sunk into the ground or the ground was suddenly elevated compared to last evening! I look at the door, it reads Apartment 111. (I am in 211)! I curse my own stupidity again and walk to the second floor (how can Germans leave the light to the elevator on when the designated floor has come!!!). I reach my apartment and have a coffee. Thank my stars for the apartment 111 being empty or else, I’d serve a jail term for trying to break into someone’s apartment. Life’s complicated, huh!

I hope to God Mom never gets to read this all! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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10 Comments

  1. Charles said,

    March 15, 2007 at 6:02 am

    Easy does it, Pritz.
    I think I can feel the culture shock (and I only moved to the next town!) Must be the well-paced narrative.

  2. Ananth said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:07 pm

    Haha. Can’t help laugh!! You somehow fluctuate between hopelessly perfectionist to downrght clumsy rather easily.

  3. Pritesh said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    Well, Charles, thanks! I am glad that someone understands my plight! πŸ˜€

    And Ananth, try living here……..you’ll know! πŸ˜€

  4. Neha said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    Hey !!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAHUT HASI AAYI !!!!!! πŸ˜€ Got reminded of another (well almost) mishap that u could have gotten into at my place ! πŸ˜‰

  5. March 15, 2007 at 3:52 pm

    That was funny Pritesh. Well done. πŸ™‚

  6. Charles said,

    March 15, 2007 at 7:06 pm

    A mistake made is not important. It is the CONTEXT in which the mistake is made.
    THAT is important. *snicker* and one would be hard-pressed to find a better context for a travel essay, lol

  7. Vinod KBG said,

    March 15, 2007 at 10:09 pm

    Ha!!! If Ananth was there…. I can imagine what would have happened to him….

  8. Rajdeep said,

    March 16, 2007 at 7:25 am

    good one, enjoyed reading it, was waiting for something of this sort πŸ™‚
    Any more experiences, dont miss to share it with your friends, we’ll enjoy it.

  9. Pritesh said,

    March 21, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    Hey Neha, refresh my memory! What mishap was this??? πŸ˜‰ I fall into so many, it’s hard to keep track! πŸ˜€

    Thanks Sujit………

    I can FEEL the snicker Charles! Thanks anyway for dropping by and leaving your valuable comment (snicker, eh?)…….

    Ya Vinod. If Ananth was here, he would know how strange it is to live the way I do! πŸ˜€

    Thanks Rajdeep. I always have plenty of such ‘experiences’ to share! Watch out for the blog………..

  10. markofando said,

    October 3, 2007 at 4:09 am

    Want to start your private office arms race right now?

    I just got my own USB rocket launcher πŸ™‚ Awsome thing.

    Plug into your computer and you got a remote controlled office missile launcher with 360 degrees horizontal and 45 degree vertival rotation with a range of more than 6 meters – which gives you a coverage of 113 square meters round your workplace.
    You can get the gadget here: http://tinyurl.com/2qul3c

    Check out the video they have on the page.

    Cheers

    Marko Fando


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