The proof……….

It was the third time she’d found herself lying like that, with a black eye and thoughts in a turmoil. Why? Why me? She’d asked this question too many times and in the lack of some satisfactory explanation, had given up. She had a family she could go back to. She had her friends she could confide in, but she never did that. She felt it was her mistake…….she should’ve chosen better. But there was no point repenting her mistakes now…….

She got up, feeling weak and battered and walked slowly to the kitchen. She knew that she needed to do something about the abuse she was living with, but she didn’t know what or how. It was time for dinner, she knew but her heart was so heavy. She had no appetite left and Abhishek had left the room. He had shown no signs of reappearance and she was sure he wouldn’t want dinner. Maybe, he’ll eat out, the way he always did when he was angry, which was pretty often……

She thought of what had transpired in past one hour and tears welled up in her eyes. THIS was not what she’d dreamed of. Abhishek had been so charming when they were going around, always sensitive, thoughtful and caring. She had been so flattered when he had proposed to her with a Musical band playing “I just called to say I love you” outside her Office.All the girls in her Office had swooned over Abhishek and he, good loooking as he was, had waved them off. He had loved her, or at least, she thought so.

Life had been like a dream in the six months between their engagement and marriage. He always knew what to say to her, what to give her, where to take her……and she felt like a pampered princess…….she just needed to say it and it was there………..

And with their marriage, all hell broke loose. He turned to a monster overnight. No matter what she did, he always found faults with her. If she spoke to someone, she was having an affair. If she requested for SOME privacy, she was having an affair with someone. If she got a forward from someone, that has some non-veg component in it, she was inviting people to flirt with her……the list was endless. The only thing that was right, at least technically, was sex. It was like living between this night and the next one with a thousand deaths in between…….

She had had no refuge. Her family had opposed the marriage, her friends had advised her against this but she paid no attention. Love’s blind they say, but for her, it was deaf as well. The most well meant advices were wasted in her. In the one year of their marriage, she had lived through hell. Her job was her only refuge, but she had a minimal social life. The omnipresent smile had vanished. She looked like a scared mouse all the time. And he, like a wolf on prowl, always waiting for an opportunity to pounce on her……..

Of late, he’d become violent. He hit her whenever she said something against him to his face. And she was the one to vehemently advocate against divorce, so she’d stuck on, tolerating his mood swings like an animal stashed away in an undersized cage…..he apologized every night for his violent behaviour and had sex with her…..the images of sweet love-making had faded from her mind long ago. She only live through an obligation every night…….

And today was going to be no different, she thought. She reached the kitchen. She was about to put the cooker on stove when the phone rang. She let it ring till she realized that she was going to have to pick it up. She picked up the phone only to find an Office colleague enthusiastically inviting her for his engagement party on Sunday. She said a half-hearted yes.

“I must tell Abhishek, today I must”, she thought.

The colleague sensed that something was amiss. And he asked her if she was ok…..

She thought she should utter another lie, lying about her miserable state was routine nowadays, anyway. But she somehow burst out in tears and vented herself out. She even blurted out that she felt suicidal……..her colleague promised to come to her help, along with his fiancee in half an hour. She hung the phone up and clutched the paper tighter in her hand……I must tell him today…….

She turned, only to find Abhishek glowering at her………..

“Who was it on phone?”, he spat.

“An office colleague”, she managed.

“Oh! A hidden sweetheart, I suppose. I wonder how much more of a whore can you be? Can’t you ever have enough?”, he spitted venomously.

“I’m sick of being accused of sleeping with men I don’t even know properly. He called to announce his engagement. And now YOU hear me out mister. I’m leaving this house. And I’m leaving you”, she was shouting now. She was surprised at the energy in her voice but the thought that someone knew her miserable state made her feel infinitely better. Venting it out had a magical effect on her crumbling self-confidence.

“Leaving? Like hell you’re leaving me. And tell that lover of yours not to nose around in our affairs”, he shouted.

“It’s not longer OUR affair. There’s no WE anymore. YOU are on your own and ME on my own”, she was shivering with rage now.

She turned back to go to the bedroom but he caught her by her shoulders and spun her around. He slapped her hard in face. She almost flew to the other corner of the room. He walked over to her quickly and held her by her throat.

“Your lovers must stay in Office. I won’t have your whoreness in THIS house, understood”, he was mad.

She tried speaking but no words came out. She was desperately clutching to his hands to take them off her throat. Her breath was running short now. her vision became blurred and it went black after some time. She stopped breathing and collapsed in his hands. He freed her throat and she fellt to the ground. He stared at her, waiting for her to move and say something more, but she didn’t move.

He shook her a little but she lay motionless, half curled up in a corner. It was then that he noticed a piece of paper in her hand. He freed it with some difficulty. It was a medical report of some sort and three loose sheets.

He read the first one. It was a hospital report from some Gynaecology Department of a nearby hospital. Some crazy figures were mentioned and he noticed a few red coloured numbers. But the letters at the end of the page caught his FULL attention now. In bold black letters, PREGNANCY CONFIRMED was mentioned there. He had trouble believing that she hadn’t told him that she was pregnant. The paper was dated to four days ago.

He flipped the second page open. It was some sort of a test report again. He could catch random phrases. DNA was something that caught his eye again. The end again said plainly: DNA match with Mr. Abhishek Singh confirmed.

He could feel his head swirling…….

The third page was a letter in Shalini’s handwriting. It read plainly….

Dear Abhishek,

These papers are for you to see and know that I am pregnant with “YOUR” child. If you doubt these papers as well, bring the divorce papers, I’m willing to sign them. I wish you’d notice ONCE that I love only you…….please Abhishek, give me a LITTLE love, please……..

Your loving wife

Shalini

……………………………..the silence in the room was broken only by his breathing and the clock ticking………….

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4 Comments

  1. Rajarshi said,

    October 15, 2006 at 1:58 pm

    :-)….A very bold one I must say!!..Post marital blues is one of the very mysterious topics which is seldom unfold!! Appreciate the way you have portrayed in this short write-up…however the truth I feel is most women live all life to die every day, moment by moment with their dreams shattered piece by piece…

  2. smitha said,

    October 15, 2006 at 7:37 pm

    Pritz,

    That was an outrageously brilliant writeup! Well, It sure feels gory to even think of girls undergoing such brutalities! Now to think, how lucky a few others including myself are to escape such horrific experiences!

    Well written 🙂

    Unleash more of your wiriting side! Will look forward to more of ur posts!

    luv,

    Smit

  3. SHAMIT said,

    October 15, 2006 at 7:37 pm

    Very well expressed. Though it could be any routine story; the way you have described the unfolding of the events, is riveting …

  4. October 15, 2006 at 9:59 pm

    Rajarshi, I must agree that many many women DO face such things in life, marriage or no marriage. In this story, there’s alittle bit of me too. I went through a similar abusive relationship. And I guess that makes the emotions come alive, I don’t know……..

    Hey Smits………long time. Thanks yaar. I’ve decided to write more now. I always have loads to think of and write. I was shying away from writing. Decided to be a regular at it now……

    Thanks Shamit……..


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