Hi! All,

This blog is very close to my heart as I came across this concept very late in life. And thanks to my close friends, I am beginning to realize the change it has brought to my life.

Our lives are invariably governed by rules, some set by others, some by ourselves. Rules are generally made for bringing some sort of an order to either our own lives or to the Society on the whole. But what happens when these rules become too restrictive to one’s freedom of being oneself???? I am sure there are some people out there who’d advocate the presence of these rule to control people going haywire…….I’m not talking about that anyway.

This blog primarily focuses on how one generally handles and respects rules. While talking to one close friend today, I realized that I had finally grasped the “funda” of how one follows rules! There are two ways in which you can follow a rule: Being forced into it OR Being allowed to make a choice to follow it……..and surprisingly, in a tried and tested manner, I have seen that when people are allowed to make a choice, they invariably land up taking the right path.

This way of following rules is particularly important for kids to learn to differentiate between right and wrong. I grew up in an atmosphere where there used to be rules in place. I was lucky in the sense that I barely questioned their logic till I was quite old, the primary reason being too involved with myself most of the times. But when I grew up, the same set of rules started becoming stifling. I began to understand the “ill-logic” behind some of them and being a teenager (with the hormones ruling the roost), I rebelled many a times.

So, how does one handle all these things? One simple thing is to tell the person (whoever it is who’s rebelling against them) the pros and cons of the rule in a very objective way! And then, allowing them to choose. More often than not, people tend to choose the “right” or “more acceptable” path! So, what causes this????

From my own experience, I have learnt that just to defy the rules, sometimes, we do things that we aren’t otherwise aren’t very comfortable with! I have gone to places I hate just because I was told not to, have worn clothes I don’t normally like (revealing included) because I was categorically told not to, have done things that were told to me as “wastage of time” because I was JUST NOT SUPPOSED to be doing them!!!!

That was a phase that’s thankfully over now, but it has taught me a lesson! The least effective of way of making someone do something is to IMPOSE it on them!! Rest assured, it’ll bounce back on you. And the most effective way of making someone do something is to tell them that you’ll like it if they do it but it’s ok even if you don’t! And it works wonders! it could be anything!! From making your kid have a medicine to making a teenager understand the importance of studing to making your lover understand that you were hurt by the way he/she behaved!

SUCH IS THE POWER OF CHOICE! When a mind has a right to choose, it barely goes wrong! And even if it does, it picks up the lesson in a manner never to forget it!




  1. fuse me said,

    February 13, 2006 at 2:59 am

    Hmm, When you want to impose a rule then make sure the punishment is really strict and the enforcement impartial. So you may find a few infringements, but finally you will find that it does work out. But it does work better when the people realize WHY the rule exists.

    But if you are talking about people whom you maybe your firnds, your younger siblings or your kids, then the way you suggested is the best. I echo your feelings

  2. Pritesh said,

    February 13, 2006 at 6:31 am

    Ya, I guess I was talking about people who are more intimately related to us!

  3. Karthik said,

    February 15, 2006 at 12:52 am

    ya, having rules imposed on us sometimes makes us rebels without a cause. What you’ve written about has been brilliantly discussed in the seven habits book….

  4. Pritesh said,

    February 15, 2006 at 10:48 pm

    I haven’t read that book! It’s by Stephen Covey, right? Lend it to me some time so that I get some “gyaan” too! πŸ˜€

  5. February 18, 2006 at 1:53 am

    HeHeHe! Is it a rule to write a comment? Then, here’s how I break it by cleverly giving an illusion that I’m following it! πŸ˜‰

    Just kidding.

    Just trying to add a point. Today’s kids are real rascals! They don’t blatantly disobey. They do ser pe sawa ser kind of thing. They break it secretly under our noses and we would never know. πŸ˜€

    Yes. Rulebreaking itself may sometimes reveal tremendous creativity! So, sometimes, if someone (especially a kid) breaks a rule cleverly, one thing thing to do is appreciate his cleverness, and point out objectively the wrong part in it, so that when they grow up, they don’t vent their creativity into hacking secrete government websites and writing computer viruses!

    (I think this comment is a combined comment on this blog and your blog on parenting)

    Very well written Pritesh! πŸ™‚

  6. Pritesh said,

    February 20, 2006 at 2:25 am

    Haha! A very “atypical of Sujju” kind of comment Sujju! πŸ˜€ Too good, I say! πŸ˜€

  7. February 21, 2006 at 5:20 am

    I would name that ‘Shades of Sujju.’

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